Like that only

Let’s look at instances of valid English that would not make sense outside India. Consider this dialogue in India:

Q. Why did you do that?

A. Like that only.

A. Just like that.

Even an Indian knows that the answer makes no sense, but lots of people continue to talk like that. What would happen in the West?

Q. Why did you do that?

A. No idea.

A. Search me.

A. I can’t explain it.

etc

There are many other possibilities. Some of them don’t make literal sense either.

Let’s look at examples of the shortage/abuse of articles in India, particularly Northern India. (By “articles”, I refer to grammar — “a” and “the” are indefinite and definite articles). See Wikipedia.

Wrong: He has gone to office.

Right: He has gone to the office.

Explanation: He has gone to one specific office.

Wrong: She is eating mango.

Right: She is eating a mango.

Explanation: She is eating one mango – some random mango.

Wrong (no other information is known): She is eating the mango.

Right (note emphasis): She is eating the mango.

Explanation: She is eating a specific mango, perhaps one that has some significance, e.g. it is the only one in a bunch injected with poison. (It happens in fiction!)

Wrong: She likes to eat the mangoes.

Right: She likes to eat mangoes.

Wrong: I am doing some time pass.

Right: I am killing time.

Explanation: Passing time has morphed to “time pass”, which is a nice turn of phrase, but makes you look uneducated when you say it outside India.

Sometimes, people forget their high school grammar lessons. This poor soul has given us an example of bad spelling, bad grammar and bad logic (source):

if we really wants to kill terrorism from root then we should take some actions on that places where we know that terrorist are feeded by people for terrorism.We should start form the KASAB sitting in the prison and having fledge service of prison these is the one who is responsible of taking innocent people’s life in mumbai terror attacks.

Punjabi beer can lead to tears

At a function today, the emcee said, “Please bear with us while we wait for …” but it sounded like “Please beer with us …”

I have heard a few Punjabis pronounce “wear” as “weir”, so it seems that some misguided teacher has created this confusion among thousands of Punjabis. My guess is that when he was at school he missed the lesson where the difference between the pronunciation of “tear” (tear drops) and “tear” (rip apart) was pointed out.

So here it is.

  • Bear (sounds like bare) =  बेर/ਬੇਰ
  • Beer = बीअर/ਬੀਅਰ
  • Wear (sounds like ware) = वेर/ਵੇਰ
  • Tear (drop) = टीअर/ਟੀਆਰ
  • Tear (rip)  = टेर/ਟੇਰ

 

Comment or कमेन्ट?

Another common mispronunciation (मिसप्रोंन्सीऐशन)

Incorrect: कमेन्ट

Correct: कॉमेन्ट (Emphasis in bold)

The “co” has a कॉ sound, not क. Isn’t English confusing? :)

Develop, developer, development

This is a commonly mispronounced set of words among the IT community in India.

Develop

Incorrect: डेवलप डेवलोप (emphasis in bold)
Correct: डिवेलप (all syllables with equal emphasis)

Developer

Incorrect: डेवलपर डेवलोपर (emphasis in bold)

Correct: डिवेलपर (all syllables with equal emphasis)

Development:

Incorrect: डेवलपमेंट डेवलोपमेंट (emphasis in bold)

Correct: डिवेलपमेंट (all syllables with equal emphasis)

Upgradation – there is no such word

Finextra reported on a Reserve Bank of India document that says in part,:

The working group further goes on to recommend that the RBI “consider moving over to chip based cards along with requiring upgradation of necessary infrastructure like ATMs/POS terminals in this regard in a phased manner”.

The RBI is not by any means the first Indian entity to use this clumsy word. It isn’t in any English dictionary. The correct word is “upgrade” (noun). Of course, the document is full of other errors. The above paragraph can be written as follows:

“consider moving over to chip-based cards, along with an upgrade to the related infrastructure such as ATMs/POS terminals in a phased manner”.

Generally, most Times of India posts attributed to “TNN” show signs of poor English. Here are some posts that persist in using “upgradation”

Outdated, albeit valid English

The British left India in 1947, but much of the English phraseology still used in India is possibly over 100 years old, if not more. While there is nothing wrong with that — Americans also use a lot of words left by the British in 1773 and abandoned later in the UK — you need to be aware when you are using outdated language, particularly when writing on a paid basis for a Western audience. How you speak or write in India is up to you.

Advocate

An advocate in the West is an impartial product champion who will say good things about a product without any prompting. In the US, the legally qualified professional is called a Lawyer and in British-influenced countries, this is a Solicitor and/or Barrister.

Alphabet

The Alphabet is the set of letters from A through Z. It is not a synonym for letters.

Appear

Indians appear for an exam; New Zealanders sit an exam.

Back

An Indian will say, “I went to London five years back“; others will say, “I went to London five years ago.”

Bifurcate

Indian roads can be bifurcated (split into two roads). Elsewhere, they fork.

Community

An Indian might be thinking of his sub-caste when he refers to his community.

Cousin Brother/Sister

In the West, they are simply cousins. You have to determine their gender using all available clues.

Drawing Room

You’d be hard pressed to find a drawing room in the UK today, but you’ll find a lot of living rooms. Australians watch TV or entertain guests in their lounge rooms, while Kiwis do likewise in their lounge.

Encounter

Sometime after 1980, Bombay policemen stopped having shootouts with criminals; they had encounters (which was also a convenient excuse for disposing of people).

Eve Teasing

In the West, we call it sexual harrassment, plain and simple. Call a spade a spade. Shame on the Indian news media for still using this gross understatement.

Executive

In India, a junior staff member is an Executive; in the West, a very senior manager is an Executive.

Expire

Indians expire; everyone else dies.

Flyover

For many years, Bombayites were proud of their first flyover at Kemp’s Corner and all the others that followed. You might get a blank look in the West if you talk about flyovers, as the freeways, tollways, turnpikes, or motorways have lots of underpasses, overpasses, on-ramps, off-ramps, etc within a short distance. They don’t have culverts, either. A road is a road; it goes up, it goes down; it goes above other roads; it goes under roads. Get over it. :lol:

Godown

In India and in Singapore, you store goods in a godown, but the rest of the world does so in a warehouse.

Hotel

Be clear that you are not referring to a cafe or a restaurant. This is indeed a confusing word even in the West. In Australia, a hotel can be a large pub that also offers accommodation, or it can be a multi-storey building where you can rent a bedroom and drink in its bar.

House Full

Indian movie theatres might put up a House Full sign; in Australia, the notice will read Full House.

Issue

A court case in India might refer to the issues of a couple. Elsewhere, a similar case would refer to children.

Kindly

When you say, “Kindly (do something)”, it might be taken as sarcasm, as in “Kindly go away”. Say, “Please (do something)”.

Lakh

Whether you spell it as lakh or lac (yikes), a Western reader won’t understand it. If you place a comma after the fifth digit (1,00,000), you’ll confuse them. Just talk in millions and place a zero after the sixth digit.

Miscreant

In the West, a miscreant is referred to as a troublemaker, vandal, or criminal.

Mofussil

In Chennai they not only use the word mofussil to refer to the countryside - the interior - the outback - up country, but they built the Chennai Mofussil Bus Terminus.

Mugging

Indian (or British public  school) students say they are mugging for an exam; elsewhere, rote learning (or learning by rote) is frowned upon.

Native Place

Indians come from somewhere, which they refer to as their native place, although sometimes this is where their ancestors came from. In the West, you move around so much that nobody really cares where you or your ancestors were born. At best, that was your home town.

Non-Vegetarian

In the West, people who eat meat are just people; others who don’t eat meat are vegetarians or vegans (Indians who are vegetarians should ask for the local definition of either term, as it is not consistent. Some Western vegetarians eat fish or eggs).

Number

Asking for “10 numbers” of something is incorrect English — it is not even Indian English. Just ask for 10 of something — I think we can figure out that 10 is a number.

Office

Westerners go to work. They don’t all work in an office (although many/most Indians who speak English probably do).

Peg

Whether you have a peg of whisky or a shot of whisky, it tastes just as good.

Placement Agency

In the West, you might find a placement agency, but there are many more recruitment agencies.

Residence

Indians live at their residence; others live at home.

Revert

When Indians reply to a letter or telephone call, they revert. In the West people reply, or get back to the caller. To revert means to return to the original state or condition.

Sharp

Indians rarely manage to turn up on time for an appointment (usually owing to heavy traffic), so they need to add this word, as in “6 pm sharp”. Elsewhere, “6 pm” means “6 pm” and not a second sooner or later.

Sofa Cum Bed

You might get a nervous giggle if you inserted cum in sofa bed in Australia.

Tubelight

Don’t look for a tubelight in Australia. Ask for a fluorescent tube.

Why Indiya?

Air India logo

I cannot see this changing anytime soon. I think from its inception, Air India’s transliteration in Devanagari has always been एअर इंडिया – see the logo. Air India’s website could have been such a rich archive of old photographs, but it’s under construction and slow to load. I could not find old photographs that showed the first instance of Hindi logos.

Surely, if India had a Y sound in it, it would have been spelt as Indiya. So who was the bright spark in the Tata empire who allowed this? I expected more from Parsis, who are generally well-versed in English.

Moreover, why does the single-syllable English word “air” become two syllables “eh- uhr” in Devanagari? If anyone at Air India cares, the transliteration should be:

ऐर इंडिआ

Try reading it aloud. That’s how we say it in English.

It Gets Worse

IndianOil logo

Other companies have caught this ailment. Take IndianOil for example. Its logo uses Devanagari. I would back-transliterate it as “Indiyan Oyal” Why not:

इंडिअन ऑईल

 logo

Baink of Indiya?

Let’s look at one more example, where my dad kept his money for many years – the Bank of India. Yes, you guessed right – another Indiya. The transliteration of “bank” differs between Hindi and Marathi when it comes to banks in general. The one seen here is the Hindi one, which reads “baink”. The transliteration plugin here is broken, so I can’t show how it looks in Marathi, but here’s the logo of the Bank of Maharashtra/Maharashtra Bank (they can’t make up their mind).

Bank of Maharashtra logo

Errors in official guidelines – ICAI Guidelines

How many English errors can you cram into a single document? Ask the ICAI. I saw a post that asked for a technical interpretation of the following document:

GUIDELINES FOR PERMITTING THE CHARTERED ACCOUNTANTS/FIRMS OF CHARTERED ACCOUNTANTS TO POST THEIR PARTICULARS AT WEBSITE

For what it’s worth, it is refreshing to contrast these guidelines with the UK counterpart – see Section 250, which have a more commonsense approach.

Let’s pick some holes in this document, not to disparage the authors but as examples or poor English.

Articles

The misuse of articles (a, an, the) is apparent in the following sentences:

The Council at its meeting held in January, 2001 approved the detailed guidelinesfor posting the particulars on Website

The main problem above is “on Website”. This isn’t Hindi, so it should be “on their website”. The other problem is “approved the detailed guidelines”, where “the detailed” begs the question, “Were there some other, less detailed guidelines?” – I believe the following would convey the same meaning:

The Council at its meeting held in January 2001 approved guidelines for members’ websites.

Another one:

1. The Chartered Accountants and/or Chartered Accountants’ Firms

Let’s ignore the fact that the writer can’t decide whether “Firms” needs an initial capital or not, so both versions are used in the document.

It might have been better to say:

Chartered Accountants in sole practice or in partnerships…

Confusion

The following text is simply confusing:

(8) Display of Passport size photograph is permitted.

Is that a photograph the size of a passport, or the size of a photo that you would submit with a passport application? Should they give the dimensions in millimetres?

The writers don’t seem to know that PC monitors can have different resolutions, e.g. 1024×768 pixels, 1280×1024 etc, so the dimension of an image should be specified in pixels.

Thankfully, the following text was removed:

Except the neither link to nor information about any other Website is permitted.

We’ll never know what the author intended to convey.

And now for the technical mess of a paragraph that led me to this topic:

3.The Chartered Accountants and/or Chartered Accountants’ Firms would ensure that their Websites are run on a “pull” model and not a “push” model of the technology to ensure that any person who wishes to locate the Chartered Accountants or Chartered Accountants’ firms would only have access to the information and the information should be provided only on the basis of specific “pull” request.

I’d love to meet the person who can explain the above. Let’s try to second-guess the writer here:

  • If a user searches within Google and finds a member’s website, is that a “pull request”?
  • What is meant by “to ensure that any person who wishes to locate the Chartered Accountants or Chartered Accountants’ firms would only have access to the information”? As opposed to what?
  • Are they saying that if you went to a member website, it would be completely blank except for some search box and you would have to ask a series of questions, e.g.
    • What services do you offer? (Is that the pull?)
    • Where are you located?
    • Do you have any passport-sized photos of yourselves?

Another equally baffling paragraph:

4.The Chartered Accountants and/or Chartered Accountants’ Firms should ensure that none of the information contained in the Website be circulated on their own or through E.mail or by any other mode or technique except on a specific “pull” request.

What does “circulated on their own” mean? Do we see words flying through the air of their own accord? If they meant to say, “Do not spam or solicit for work through email”, they should have said that.

In earlier paragraphs, the members were subjected to the tortuous either/or clause “The Chartered Accountants and/or Chartered Accountants’ Firms” but now firms seem exempt from the following rule:

5.The Chartered Accountants would also not issue any circular or any other advertisement or any other material of any kind whatsoever by virtue of which they solicit people to visit their Website.

Whose logo are they referring to in the sentence below?

7) Since Chartered Accountants in practice/firms of Chartered Accountants are not permitted to use logo with effect from 1st July, 1998, they cannot use logo on Website also.

More Hindi English here. You need an article before “logo” but in this case you need to mention a specific logo. You do not end a sentence with “also”, except when speaking Indian English at the bus stop. I think they mean that a member cannot display the logo of the ICAI. Surely they can display their own logo?

Another common Indian English error:

9) The members may include articles, professional information, professional updation and other matters of larger importance or of professional interest.

Updation? Which dictionary contains that word? What is wrong with using the word “update”? Sadly, ill-educated Indians have absorbed that word en masse and it can be seen in the Indian English Dictionary. But of course – the venerable Times of India uses this abomination, so what hope is there for the common man?

Again, there was no need to begin the paragraph with “The”. Simply “Members may” would suffice. Several other paragraphs can dispense with the definite article at the beginning of sentences.

Another horror of a paragraph:

11) The chat rooms can be provided which permit chatting amongst members of the ICAI and between Firms and its clients. The confidentiality protocol would have to be observed.

Why not say:

Chat rooms are permitted, provided that client confidentiality is maintained.

My oh my:

13) The listing on suitable search engine should be permitted. However, the field of search should be restricted only to the field of “Chartered Accountants” or “CA” or “Indian CA”, “Indian CPA”, “Indian Chartered Accountant” or any permutation or combination related thereto.

Is the wise Council of the ICAI suggesting that end users such as myself can only use Google to search for the above words if my objective is to find a long-suffering Indian CA? I recommend that they learn more about search engines before writing these gems.

Upto

23) The Website should mention the date upto which it is updated

Only in India do they join the words “up to”. Clue: this isn’t “unto”. Keep the words apart.

The guidelines have many more errors, but I’ll leave it at that.

Writing Devanagari in WordPress

There are some old posts elsewhere that tell you how to view (and write) Devanagari posts in WordPress. Mostly they say you should enable FireFox as follows: Tools > Options > Content > Default Font Times New Roman > Advanced > Western > Default Character Encoding = Unicode (UTF-8) If only it were that easy today (WP 2.7.1). My problem wasn’t the above – I could view other blogs containing Devanagari words but my post below was not saving the Devanagari contents. Here is my How-To:

  • Use the Google Indic Transliteration tool to write in Devanagari. But you have to copy/paste the text into WordPress.
  • Install and activate the Google Indic Transliteration WordPress Plugin. This adds a check box in the WP post editor. (You have to be in HTML edit mode.) If you check Hindi, you can type in Hindi directly within the post. It does not have Marathi, e.g. ळ so the Google tool is better.
  • Edit wp-config.php to replace the line below with the one after it (copy it and place // to make the original line a comment)
    //define(‘DB_CHARSET’, ‘utf8′);
    define(‘DB_CHARSET’, ”);
    (Those are two single quotes after CHARSET’,)
  • Open the MySQL database with phpMyAdmin (supplied with cPanel) and check the Collation language – usually it is latin1_swedish_ci.
  • Select the Operations tab and scroll down to Collation. Make it utf8_general_ci. This will suffice to enable Devanagarifor new posts.
  • Old posts prior to the change will need to be re-edited. You can do it in phpMyAdmin. Choose from the left menu the table called wp_posts. Then select the Browse tab and find the post you want to edit. Click the pencil icon, make the changes and save. That’s it! सकसेस

V or W?

Indian languages (at least the North Indian ones) have only one letter “wa” (व) to cover the letters V and W, therefore many Indians mispronounce words that contain the letter “v”.

The “wa” sound is made with the lips forming a circle as you open the mouth.

The “va” sound requires you to place your lower lip behind the upper front teeth and release the lip as you say it.

In Marathi, the V sound is transliterated as व्ह (“vh”) – no idea why, because it causes people to inject the “h” sound when none exists.